It’s been two months since we became a thing. It feels both much longer and much shorter than that. We have spent most of this time seeing each other late at night, in secret, after my daughter has gone to bed. I can see why that makes it sound like we have something to hide, but really it’s just far too soon to explain to my daughter that I have a boyfriend.
I have a boyfriend. I still haven’t quite adjusted to that statement yet. Of all the things I expected to gain this year, (weight, perhaps a few followers, another prescription for Valium) a boyfriend was not one of them.
While my daughter is still in the dark about the situation, my friends and family are aware. Their responses have been mixed; my Dad is particularly wary, while my brother said I should go ahead, that I shouldn’t let the past stop me from living my life. A few friends are supportive, and a few have opinions along the lines of “It’s too soon and your decision to see each other against my advice makes me angry”. Still, here we are.
We talk a lot about the future, which I think is positive. It seems naive to think that in a year or two years (or whatever unit of time seems appropriate) everything will be perfect and we will function like a normal family, but talking about the future is a good foundation for talking about my daughter; how and when we will tell her, how to help her adjust to the situation. I enjoy that we can discuss these things at length without any awkwardness or exasperation on his part.
In the past month I have been struck by a few instances of people seeming to know that we’re an item, without any admission from us. The first was when we went out for the day, looking at commercial properties for the Boyfriend’s new business venture. Since we’re both business minded (okay, we’re a bit geeky) this was a really fun day out for us. We suited up and met the first agent, an overly-confident man who showered us both with compliments in an attempt to sway us into choosing his property. He led us around two buildings, and as we were getting ready to leave he passed comment on us, as a couple. The Boyfriend looked amused as I turned multiple shades of red; but the thing that struck me the most was that it was obvious to this man. We hadn’t been holding hands, I hadn’t been introduced as the Girlfriend. We had been very professional, and yet this stranger knew after twenty minutes of our time that we were a couple. Of course, I assumed he was guessing and brushed it off.
It happened again in conversation with a friend. After a few minutes of small talk, he got to the point and asked how me and the Boyfriend were. Flustered, I responded that we were fine, and that we were indeed a we. “Who saw that one coming?” I laughed nervously. “Anyone with eyes.” my friend responded, pointing out that for a few years various people in our social circle have dropped hints about us being together. Okay, so people ship us I thought, but they couldn’t possibly have known we would be together… Right?
The final instance came as a bit of a shock to me. After a really terrible week at school (Sprog has been having a lot of trouble there lately) I asked the Boyfriend if he would like to join us for a meal out – designed to treat and cheer up Sprog’s blues. She knows him as a family friend, so seeing him once in a blue moon isn’t out of the ordinary, and she was excited to hear that he would be joining us at a restaurant. The meal was lovely, with Sprog’s mood significantly improving from the moment we got there. As the night drew to a close and I giggled shamelessly at a joke the Boyfriend told, Sprog burst out laughing and asked if we would get married. We glanced at each other, panicked, and I asked my daughter where she had gotten that idea from. She replied that she really liked the Boyfriend, and that I did too, so we should get married. I wasn’t expecting that one!
Of course, we brushed the conversation off and assured Sprog that nobody would be getting married anytime soon; but it was a real wake up call. People weren’t guessing or assuming that we were an item: it was obvious. People could see how happy we were to be around each other, and that in itself was admission enough that there was chemistry between us.
What do you think? Can you see the connection between two people? Isn’t it obvious?? Let us know in the comments!