Now that I officially have a boyfriend (I have a boyfriend??) we spend a lot of time talking. It’s sort of necessary really, because if we were to stay together a year without discussing the future, or our wants or needs or dreams, we would be at a loss as to how to move forward. So we talk. We talk about the past and the present and how they will impact the future. We talk to make sure that we want the same things in life, and will be happy if we choose to remain together for a long time. After all, what could be worse than spending ten years with somebody only to find out their goal in life is the polar opposite of yours?
We talk about pets, and how some day we would like a dog. It’s amusing because right now we both own cats, who we love dearly, but we would both like to have a dog. Not just any dog; a really big dog. Some of our favourites are malamutes, saint bernards and mastiffs. We like to look at them online sometimes.
We talk about kids. How many we would like, how we would like to raise them. Where exactly we would draw the line with teenagers, having both been pretty rebellious ourselves and not wanting to be hypocrites. We talk about the values we think are most important to teach, and we talk about what methods of parenting we do not agree with.
We talk about houses, and often look at them online too. It’d take a big house to fit us, my daughter, a large dog and any future children we may have. We like to discuss the pros and cons of different types of houses, and understand exactly how much money we would need for our dream house. We joke about how we will live in a mansion, and easily afford it, and sometimes we are both pretty determined about the lifestyle we would like to live in the future. Together.
We talk about things we like or don’t like, almost as though we are checking that we will never disagree. It turns out we already do – the Boyfriend likes his steak rare, and I think that’s just wrong. However, our difference of opinion there isn’t a deal breaker. We agree on a lot of much more important topics.
The thing that I love, when we talk, is that he knows what he wants. He wants giant animals and absolutes. A malamute and a yes or no answer, there is no grey area. There will be no settling for second best. He’s so determined, and more so than that… Confident. It’s beautiful, not sexy or hot or attractive (although he ticks those boxes too!), but actually really beautiful to watch his resolve when I say that he’s dreaming a little out of reach. He knows he can set his sights on something and make it happen, and I’ll be damned if I try to tell him otherwise. I love that.