I woke up at 6am this morning with sharp, persistent abdominal pains, and an underlying flutter of anxiety. I lay there for a while, wondering if the stomach pains were heralding the arrival of Aunt Flo. Today wouldn’t be the best day for that, I muttered to myself.
Upon getting up and donning my suit for court (amid making breakfast for Sprog and repeatedly asking her to get ready for school) my brother informed me of the news that rocked the world this morning: Donald Trump did it. He won the election. I think I’m still in shock as I write this, twelve hours later. It’s terrible; but it’s not the reason for the title of my post.
Today was a big day for me. I attended my final court hearing regarding Sprog and our ordeal. I had our care order discharged. I was praised by the social worker, the children’s guardian and the Judge, and for once I didn’t look away; for the first time in my life I knew that I deserved every good word being said to me, and (I hope) I gracefully accepted them all.
The Judge commented on my resilience. On my daughter’s incredible confidence. On how difficult things have been and how great we could go on to be. She acknowledged how hard I have worked, how much I have grown and how strong I have become as a mother. She told me never to hang my head again. Her words will stay with me forever, and just in case I start to forget I will be writing them down in my journal tonight.
Then, as she rose, she declared the case closed and the sound of the paperwork being stamped filled my ears. I tried to hold it back but the sheer tidal wave of relief that washed over me had me sobbing as I stood to leave. I turned to my social worker, who was also in tears. It’s all over. No more court hearings, no more statutory visits, no more medical assessments or home checks or feeling like our lives are run by the Local Authority; no more reminders of how it all started. It’s all over.
So today, 9/11/2016, it is officially all over. For me, that’s the biggest thing in the world right now. Me and my daughter survived horrific abuse, massive trauma and all the obstacles thrown at us after that.
I’d like to tie my own victory into the US election result by saying this: I am so, so sorry for all the people in America mourning their country today. Donald Trump (from what I have seen) is a shining example of all that is wrong with the world, and I apologise on behalf of the human race. To him and his supporters, I’d just like to say: both me and my daughter are girls. We’ve demonstrated, and had documented, that we have more balls than you lot ever will have put together. The moral of our story is that you can’t keep a good girl down. We just keep going. So keep your misogynistic bullshit away from us, cause our whole goal here is to help people deal with oxygen thieves like you.