Okay so the first week back at school since Christmas… Kicked my arse. However, I was content telling myself that after the second week I would be back in the swing of things. We are two days into the second week, and things have gotten even more complicated.
I should explain that my usual week has some semblance of a routine. There are certain things that I do on certain days that ensure things run smoothly, and these habits have been with me for over a year now, so they are rather ingrained. Four days a week I drop Sprog at school, run home and workout for an hour. Then I shower (so I’m not gross and sweaty) and then I start my day. On Thursdays I go to Tesco after the school drop, for food shopping. My Dad always comes too, and Thursdays have become ritual for us. Every day I clean the house, do one load of laundry (a laundry day a week doesn’t work when you don’t have a tumble dryer!) and vacuum the floors. Plus the afternoon school run. It’s not a very demanding routine, but it’s specific, and it’s what I’m used to.
All of those comfortable little arrangements I have are about to be blown to pieces, but for a good reason. As aforementioned, The Boyfriend has been working on opening his own business. He will be opening that business by the end of the week, after a few delays (the flu) and a few small miracles. I will be going to work with him. It’s a situation that works for both of us; he gets some voluntary help from someone he knows, likes and trusts. I get a trial run of going to work, to see whether I can cope with being away from Sprog, or whether my anxiety since X will show it’s face again, without needing to fork out for hours of childcare. It’s a win-win.
The problem is, I’ve never worked 5 weekdays in a row. Working the bar meant flexible hours; I could spend all day with Sprog and go to work after she had gone to bed, allowing me to fit in everything but eight hours sleep. Things are different now though, with Sprog at school all day and me planning to work during those hours. When will I fit in cleaning the house? When will I do my food shopping? Will my Dad manage without me being able to go help him at the drop of a hat?
I hear a lot of you thinking, “Why can’t you just go after school/work?” and I probably could, but I am worried about asking too much of Sprog by dragging her to Tesco after school, and not spending enough quality time with her if I’m maintaining the house after hours. Our weekends have a very specific schedule, which I think it’s even more important to stick to what with our weekday routines changing.
So right now I am feeling stressed about schedules, but at the same time I know I am good at organising things, and I feel grateful for the opportunity ahead of me. I won’t be home.when cold-callers turn up, which is a dream come true, and I certainly won’t be bored. Even better, I will have good reason to be as tired as I (usually, constantly) am! Change is uncomfortable, but it’s usually for the best.